Or, Why Modern Women Are Carrying More Than Any Generation Before Them

There was a time when women were told they could “have it all.”

Which sounded inspiring until you realised “all” apparently means:

• A thriving career

• A regulated nervous system

• Pilates arms

• Emotionally secure children

• Good skin texture

• Financial literacy

• Protein intake

• Deep friendships

• A healthy marriage

• An organised pantry

• Hormonal balance

• Gut health

• A side hustle

• A spiritual practice

• A clean car

• Strong boundaries

And apparently now…

A morning shed routine involving mouth tape, collagen powder, magnesium glycinate and a red-light mask that costs the same as a second-hand Toyota Tazz.

At this point, I would simply like to survive a Wednesday without reheating my coffee four times.

The Impossible Assignment

Modern womanhood feels like one giant group project where nobody agreed to the assignment.

Because economically?

You absolutely should work.

You should be ambitious.
Independent.
Financially empowered.
Building wealth.
Creating generational security.
Leaning in.

But also…

You should be deeply present with your children.

Never miss a school event.

Know each child’s emotional landscape intimately.

Create magical memories.

Limit screen time while simultaneously answering work emails at 8pm.

And if your child says:

“Mom, you’re always working.”

Congratulations.

You now carry guilt in a brand-new flavour.

The Permanent State of Almost Failing

The modern woman exists in a permanent state of almost failing at something.

If you’re succeeding at work, you’re worried you’re neglecting your family.

If you’re deeply present at home, you’re worried your career is slipping.

If you rest, you feel lazy.

If you hustle, you burn out.

If you order takeaways, you’ve failed nutritionally.

If you cook healthy meals, nobody eats them anyway because suddenly your child has decided mushrooms are offensive despite loving them three weeks ago.

You cannot win a game where the rules keep changing.

Welcome to Wellness Culture

Sweet heavens.

Every week there is a new thing we’re apparently supposed to care about.

Eggs are good for you.

No wait. Eggs are inflammatory.

No wait. Eggs are a superfood.

Actually the real problem is seed oils.

Unless it’s cortisol.

Or insulin.

Or mould toxicity.

Or your nervous system.

Or the plastic cutting board quietly poisoning your entire bloodline.

Then somewhere in the middle of this chaos, you hear a woman on TikTok saying:

“I just wake up at 4:30am for my grounding practice.”

Ma’am.

I wake up because somebody vomited.

Fitness, But Make It Complicated

Remember when exercise meant exercise?

Not anymore.

Now we’re told:

• Lift heavy

• But not too heavy

• Walk 10,000 steps

• But calmly

• Stretch

• Recover

• Take creatine

• Take collagen

• Take electrolytes

• Take magnesium

• Eat protein

But don’t become obsessive because that’s toxic.

And if you’re taking Ozempic, be discreet about it because society simultaneously celebrates weight loss and judges the method.

Women now have to manage not only their actual bodies but the public relations strategy around their bodies.

Exhausting.

Social Media Broke The Ceiling

Social media has removed the natural ceiling of comparison.

Years ago you compared yourself to maybe five women in your neighbourhood.

Now you compare yourself to:

• A billionaire CEO

• A marathon runner

• A wellness influencer

• A homeschooling mother of four

• A 24-year-old Pilates instructor

• A woman who somehow keeps coriander alive

Your nervous system was never designed for this amount of perceived inadequacy.

The Invisible Administration of Life

And still.

Still we continue.

We pack lunches.

Reply to emails.

Book dentist appointments.

Remember birthday gifts.

Monitor WhatsApp groups.

Pretend to understand cryptocurrency.

Worry about interest rates.

Read articles about ultra-processed food.

Try not to panic about the state of the world.

Attempt date nights.

Listen to podcasts about attachment styles.

Google symptoms at midnight.

And carry the invisible emotional administration of entire households while smiling politely in Woolworths.

Women Are Not Weak. They’re Loaded.

Women are tired.

Not weak.

Not incapable.

Not dramatic.

Just mentally loaded beyond what any generation before us has experienced.

Because modern life didn’t remove traditional expectations of women.

It simply added professional expectations on top of them.

Maybe The Answer Isn’t More Optimisation

Maybe the answer isn’t becoming better at productivity.

Maybe the answer is admitting this is absurd.

Maybe the answer is:

• Smaller lives

• Softer expectations

• More humour

• More honesty

More women saying:

“This is too much for one human nervous system.”

Because despite what productivity culture tells us, your worth is not measured by how efficiently you carry impossible amounts of pressure.

You do not need visible abs, a perfect skincare routine, emotionally advanced children, a thriving career and balanced hormones to be valuable.

You are allowed to be:

A little chaotic.

A little behind.

A little tired.

A little human.

And frankly, if we’re all this overwhelmed, perhaps the problem isn’t that women are failing.

Perhaps the system itself is slightly unhinged.