I’m not apologising for this photo.

Why do so many of us apologise for being human? For looking tired, having messy hair, wearing no make-up or simply existing without our carefully curated armour. This reflection explores the subtle ways we learn to hide ourselves and why perhaps the most radical thing we can do is stop apologising for showing up exactly as we are.
Picture of Petro Wells

Petro Wells

Today I had one of those days.

No make up.
Hair doing whatever it wanted.
Face saying “sleep was optional.”
Energy saying “I can’t even pretend today.”

And of course… I bump into a parent from school.

And what do I do?

I apologise.

“Sorry, I look terrible today.”

“Sorry, I didn’t try.”

“Sorry, I’m a mess.”

Sorry sorry sorry.

And halfway through the conversation it hit me.

Why am I apologising for existing in my actual human form on a random Wednesday?

Why do so many of us do this?

We apologise for not being polished. We apologise for being tired. We apologise for our faces. We apologise for taking up space in a way that isn’t curated. We apologise for being real.

Where did we learn that our worthiness depends on being presentable?

Where did we learn that we owe the world a full face of make up to be acceptable?

Where did we learn that “messy” is shameful and “tired” is unprofessional and “normal” is something to hide?

Here’s the truth I’m sitting with:

I don’t need to apologise for being human. Not for my bare face. Not for my undone hair. Not for my low-energy days. Not for showing up imperfect, real, unfiltered.

And neither do you.

We are allowed to exist in public without performing. We are allowed to show up tired. We are allowed to look like the people we actually are. We are allowed to stop apologising for not being perfect.

Because maybe the problem isn’t how we look.

Maybe the problem is how much of ourselves we think we need to hide.

Before You Go

I write from lived experience, not from a position of having life figured out.

Everything shared here is an invitation to reflect, question and think differently. These are observations, lessons and ideas gathered while navigating work, family, leadership and being human.

For more about how I approach my writing, coaching and thinking, read my Personal Disclaimer and Working Principles.

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